When is your turning point?


When someone undergoes a 360 degree change it is when some major mis-happening has occurred in their lives.  The turning point is that crucial moment of realization when your whole world is turned upside down.  You are then forced to think about what is important in your life, what is your purpose, and so forth.

No one reflects much about their lives when the going is smooth; you have a good job, a fantastic marriage, a loving family, kids and all.  What else would you ask for?  Then the unthinkable happens.  It could be losing your job, a failed marriage, a love one died or you suddenly have a heart attack.  The big question comes up: what is my life all about?  The soul-searching journey begins but it is hard for you have never done anything like this before.  You become nervous and lost.  Then come the depression you do not know how to get rid of.  Desperation could cause you to take the next available boat not caring the destination it is heading.  You take a chance and that could lead you into more unhappiness.

Without self-awareness, one would lose touch with their inner being easily and are less resilient to changes, let alone sudden catastrophic changes.

Someone once told me, “I don’t read self-help books.  They all tell you the same things; things that we already know.”  And he is right except that even as we know them, we choose to do nothing about what we know often until it is too late.  If you were like I was, each time you read one of those profound statements, you would go “how true…but isn’t it common sense?”.  They jog your memory; your sense of knowing buried deep in your subconscious mind.  Then you turn to other “more” important things without giving it a further moment of thought.  The moment passes fleetingly leaving nary a mark.

Such is human nature.  There is no way of making anyone think in introspection unless he/she is ready.  And that is the hard part of coaching.  You cannot coach someone who is not ready to be coached and who is to say they should be coached anyway.  I have come across many people who understands the benefits of coaching in an intellectual way but are still unwilling to go through the process.  Not because they think it is a lot of mumbo-jumbo nonsense but that they are not ready to face the truth about themselves.  Some fear inside is stopping them.

For those who have gone through coaching, I salute them.  I know how hard it is.  Even as a coach, I need to be coachable.  I have gone through that same moment of unease as anyone else.  Do I want to share so much of myself with another?  The uncertainty of what is to come can be scary and yet, having gone through it, I must say I am thankful.  It gives me a chance to release all the pent up emotions I never realized I had, or want to acknowledge.  That is a turning point for me.  I am very much an introspective person and in spite of it, I still find coaching extremely helpful.  I am not saying this because I am a coach.

I may not have ask myself the same questions that my coach would ask me.  It could be my blind spot or the hidden ego that would not allow me to ask myself those questions no matter how honest I feel I have been with myself.  So I find insights that no amount of introspection could do.

Frankly there have a few turning points in my life and I always triumph over them but it makes things much easier having someone unconditionally supportive to talk to and work with.  But we do not have to wait for that crucial tragic moment to work on this turning point.

The turning point could be now.  I have worked with people who suddenly realized in the mist of coaching that what they now have are not what they want at all.  A plan ensues to make this massive change in phases over the next five years.  Short term goals are set towards the ultimate vision.  With that in mind, every action is then made purposefully.

When are you ready to work on yours?

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