Many people hide behind social masks – sometimes several – as a means to protect themselves from harm. Truth is these masks are causing more damage than they are shields. They prevent you from knowing your true self. The self-denial is so strong that it reduces your ability to handle problems. This happens when we lack the self-confidence in being our authentic selves.
Being genuine and sincere seem so basic in human connections but there will always be excuses in not exercising them. In almost all sales training, we are taught to be genuine and sincere. However, most choose not to be out of fear that the potential customer would reject their services or products.
It does not require a body language expert to sniff out the deceptiveness and you lose all credibility. We all are sales persons in our own right whether we are in sales or not. We are selling our ideas and ourselves every day even as simple as in persuading someone to do something – give you a raise, marry you, reduce the price of a product, buy something from you, accept your idea, empty the rubbish bin, offer you a job, etc.. If you succeed, you get what you want and if you don’t, you won’t.
This is very well illustrated in this quote from the movie, Boiler Room:
“A sale is made on every call you make. Either you sell your client some stocks or he sells you the reason he can’t. Either way a sale is made. The only question is who close the sale – you or him?”
Not being authentic in your dealings with others would easily cost you to lose the most important sale of your life. It is very much easier to lose your credibility with a simple lie than it is to regain the respect with a dozen or more good deeds.
The congruency between your speech and your actions leave a greater impact then mere words do. Consistently telling the truth will gain you the respect that will serve you much better than any lie in the long run. You will then be able to close as many sale as you make because people trust and believe you.
Your success comes first from being truthful to yourself. Knowing where you are coming from when you connect with others. What are you trying to achieve? Is that self serving? Is it harmful to others? How does it feel to offer those words? Are they congruent to your true feelings? Practise questioning yourself often enough and you will find the way to be authentic at all times.
It may be a little scary at first if you are not used to being authentic – having been conditioned otherwise. It will take time to unmask, layer by layer, the image you project to the outside world. Be courageous and give yourself time but recognize that this is the process you have to go through to become successful in whatever you do.