“Don’t live someone else’s dreams”


This sounds perfectly reasonable but yet we often live someone else’s dreams without realizing it because we never question ourselves deeply enough.  How often is it that even the most intelligent of persons would say they did this or that because their parents wanted them to.  Or that, everyone thinks that he/she is good at doing this so that is what he/she landed up doing.  It is sad but true.

If we are not living the lives of others, we are imposing others to live the lives we would have like to live.  When I hear parents say, “I didn’t have the opportunity to learn to play the piano when I was a child.  Now that I have the means, I am sending my son to piano lessons.” , I feel sorry for the child.   No consideration is given to whether her son is interested in playing the piano.  So now the son is stressed out having to go for the lessons weekly and need to be reminded frequently to practise the pieces.  It is no wonder children today is feeling the pressure.  The parents’ defense is always “I’m doing that for their own good.”.

Parents’ love for their children is so intense that they forget that their children have their own minds, preferences, dreams, desires, intelligence, etc. to decide for themselves.  Of course they need guidance but not at the expense of losing all self.  Parents, give your children their voices and learn to listen intently.

As an adult, are you still living someone else’s dream?  Are you doing what you love most or something that is expected of you?  Do you feel the joy of going to work every morning or is it just something that needs to be done?  Do you yearn to do something very much but held back because your partner/parents/friends would not approve?  Do you often bow to everyone else’s wishes except your own?  If all these ring true to you, you are short-changing yourself.

Stop settling for less than you want!

If you are not happy with what you are doing right now, start out by jotting down all the things you want in life.  Do not stop to consider if they are sensible, possible, appropriate…

Review the list and sense how you feel.  Are you feeling at peace?  Do you feel the little bubble of joy filling your chest?  That is good.  Then make a commitment to yourself to change, slowly but surely.

From the list, pick out three things that you think you can accomplish with greater ease and work out the steps and action plans to achieve them.  Share these goals with a close friend, partner or sibling and get them to help you.  If you find this difficult, get a coach.

Once you succeed in the first three things, the rest will become easier.  You would gain confidence knowing everything is possible as long as you put your mind to it.  Remember life is a journey; it is a work-in-progress.  You could not jump from A to B without going through a process.  Continuous change is the process that take you from where you are to where you want to be.  However, that is possible only when you embrace and commit to change.

If you have a vision of a BIGGER you, start working on changing yourself.

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