If we are barking at the wrong tree when depending on external factors for our true lasting happiness, what could we do to deflect from this erroneous path?
I am not sure if it is a good thing that there are lots of resources on the topic of happiness. On one hand it is good to know that we are not alone in this journey while on the other it is rather sad to know that there are so many people afflicted by the disease – of not being happy. I refer unhappiness to being a disease simply because with enough commitment to change, this trend could be reversed.
It is interesting how long people pulse when you ask if they are happy. At times I wonder which of these could be the real reason for the delay in answer:
- They have never given it deep thoughts.
- They are afraid or embarrass to say what they think.
- They are thinking to form an answer that they think you want to hear.
- They do not know how to qualify if they are happy or not.
- …and many others I could not venture to guess.
If there is a long pulse before you get an answer, it could be a telltale sign of an unhappy person. If you are happy, it will be evident; every expression in your manner, speech and action projects it.
To reset our genetic happiness set point (see also http://wp.me/pJZPk-2h), we need to practise more positive thinking on a regular basis which will then lead us to having more positive emotions. It is not good enough to start on a transformation programme only to stop after a few days or weeks. It has got to be a continuous process of self-awareness, self-development and self-appraisal to the point of becoming second nature to you. The transformation process involves a change in mindset and developing the ability to consciously observe yourself in thoughts and actions moment-by-moment in your everyday life.
Wow, I know it sounds tough and it is tough. That is why you need to break everything down into achievable chunks to digest and practise.
Here are some suggestive steps you could take:
- Read some books or search the web for resources to help you line up the various exercises you could do to help in the transformation process.
- Commit to making these changes and set short and long term goals.
- Identify the ones that are most comfortable for you.
- Prioritize and decide which ones to start with. Start small with just a couple of exercises that can easily fit into your current lifestyle.
- If necessary, get a life coach to help you for a faster and more effective change.
- Perform regular evaluations and adjust.
- Add on more exercises when you feel right.
It typically takes 21 days of consistent application to form sustainable habits but be kind to yourself if you do not make it on some days. Being overly hard on yourself can discourage and hinder your progress and, you don’t want that.
If you are not using a coach, you could start a support group comprising people with whom you are comfortable having the same objective – to attain true lasting happiness – as a common goal. However, you need some very strict rules of engagement in the group to make this a success. More of this in the next article.
Hope you enjoy this and are able to use some of the suggestions here.