Chasing After The Solution


Who does not have a dilemma?  I am sure we all have a dilemma or two in our lifetimes.  The difference is how you handle them when they knock on your door.  Do you decide to deal with it or do you ignore it and hope that the problem will go away.

The thing is by not making a decision you are making a decision, i.e. the decision not to make a decision.  How profound is that?

So what is the consequence of either?  When you make a decision you are choosing the path you want to take, never mind what the outcome is.  If you do not make a decision, something will still happen but you are leaving the choice to other people.  The former gives you the feeling of power over the situation and therefore you are more positive while the other makes you feel helpless and disempowered.

Of the two, you would likely choose the first rather than the second option, right?  Wrong.  Many would still rather leave their fate to someone else because deciding also means having to commit to the outcome.  By relying on others, you have the opportunity or option to curse, swear and blame someone else when things go wrong.  Yes, some people do not want to take responsibility for their own actions and having someone take the blame makes them feel safe.

Now, you may decide you want to be empowered so you choose to face the issue.  Then you need to consider a list of options.  That’s when the hard part begins because you need to think.  You would think thinking occurs naturally and in some cases for some people it is although there is a large number of them who would rather not or able to, especially when it comes to complex issues involving many aspects of one’s life.  They are terrified.  Thinking is hard work drawing a lot of brain power and it is exhausting.

Good decision comes from quality thinking and even thinking requires training.  That is why there are loads of books and course on lateral thinking, etc.  Quality thinking gives you wider perspective of the situation and therefore derives better solution options.

Finally you come up with a few possible solutions but somehow THE solution still remains elusive.  None of them seems to fit somehow.  So what do you do?  You look for help from colleagues, friends, relatives, spouses, etc.  That should cover the bases.  Yet the advices feel hollow and you end up with “yes, but…”.  You are no where closer to your solution than before.  What has gone wrong?

This could have fallen between either one of these possibilities:

  1. The kind colleagues, friends, relatives, spouses, etc. may have agendas unbeknown even to themselves that could sabotage your hope.  Consciously or sub-consciously they may not want you to succeed fearing that the outcome could jeopardize the relationship one way or another.
  2. Not having the same background, experiences and other personal differences, they could not fully appreciate the situation and have very different perception of the successful outcome.
Ultimately the best possible solution would have come from within you.  However, this is not to say you should not consult their opinions.  Just do not expect the final decision handed over on a silver platter.  What you need is some deep reflection – and perhaps some guidance.  You may want to consider someone who has been trained to ask the right questions to help clarify your thoughts, re-order your thinking patterns and draw insights from the process; someone who is objective and most importantly encouraging of your efforts; someone who is supportive and to whom you could be accountable for the solution and actions you have decided on.  Yes, of course, I am referring to a coach.

You may not need or want a coach for everything but the one or few challenging periods in your life to help you through.  Just recognize the moments but if you are not sure, ask for a free trial to see if this is for you.  Decide!
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